Skin in The Game: Why Low Fees Sabotage Your Clients' Success (And Your Reputation)

The Training That Never Sticks

Over 30 years ago, I started noticing something troubling.

I'd see professionals attend training courses. They'd come back full of enthusiasm. Buzzing with new ideas. Excited about implementing everything they'd learned.

And then, within a few weeks, they'd be back to their old ways. The enthusiasm would fade. The new skills would be abandoned. The training would be forgotten.

I watched this happen again and again. And I kept asking myself: Why?

Why do some people fail to succeed to the level of success that their level of skill indicates they could achieve?

After years of observation, I finally understood the answer.

There was a mismatch between what they were being asked to do and who they believed themselves to be.

Their behaviour was out of sync with their identity.

And that's when I created this expression:

"People will never consistently do who they aren't."

Think about it for a moment.

If someone attends a sales training course and learns brilliant new techniques, but they still see themselves as "not really a salesperson," what happens?

They might use the techniques for a week or two. But soon, they'll revert to their old ways. Because the new behaviour doesn't match their identity.

If someone learns how to charge premium fees but still sees themselves as "just a consultant" or "not really an expert," what happens?

They might quote the higher fee once or twice. But when they sense hesitation from a prospect, they'll immediately drop their price. Because charging premium fees doesn't match who they believe themselves to be.

This mismatch is one of the major reasons why training doesn't have long-term impact.

Training can work on a long-term basis, but only if sufficient time is spent aligning the new skills with the identity of the person being trained.

And here's the uncomfortable truth: this mismatch problem creates massive difficulties when you're setting your fee rates.

If you don't feel you're worth a certain fee rate, you will never consistently charge it.

The Low Fee Mistake

Right. Let me explain the single biggest pricing mistake I see professionals make.

And it's not what you think. It's not that they're charging too little. Well, they are, but that's not the core problem.

The core problem is this: low fees sabotage your clients' success.

Let me explain.

When clients don't have enough "skin in the game," when they're not paying at a level that makes them feel invested in the process or a substantial outcome, something dangerous happens.

Their belief is low.

When their belief is low, they're unlikely to take consistent action. (And many don't.)

When they fail to take enough action, they're unlikely to achieve the increased results they said they wanted.

When that happens, they're unhappy. Even with the small amount they paid.

And whose reputation suffers? Yours and mine.

Now let me show you the alternative.

Why Cheap Coaching Creates Poor Results

I'm going to share a story that might make you uncomfortable.

A few years ago, I met two coaches. Both were helping clients with exactly the same problem: building their businesses.

Coach A charged £500 for a three-month programme.

Coach B charged £5,000 for a three-month programme.

Same length. Same format. Similar expertise.

Now, here's what happened.

Coach A's clients rarely completed the programme. They'd miss sessions. They wouldn't do the work. They'd make excuses. And most of them got minimal results.

Coach B's clients showed up to every session. They did the work. They implemented everything. And most of them got exceptional results.

Was Coach B ten times better? Not really.

But here's what was different: Coach B's clients had skin in the game.

They'd invested £5,000. That's real money for most people. So they took it seriously. They showed up. They did the work. They got results.

Coach A's clients? £500 didn't feel like enough of an investment to motivate consistent action.

Now here's the tragedy. When Coach A's clients didn't get results, who did they blame?

Not themselves. They blamed the coach.

"I tried coaching. It doesn't work. That coach wasn't very good."

Meanwhile, Coach B's clients were singing his praises. Referring other clients. Writing glowing testimonials.

Same service. Wildly different results. All because of the level of investment required.

The Be-Do-Have Formula

Right. So how do you fix this? How do you align your identity with the fees you want to charge?

It starts with understanding how real change actually works.

Most people think success works like this:

1. Have stuff (money, resources, credentials)
2. Do things (take action)
3. Be someone (successful person)

That's completely backwards.

Here's how it actually works:

1. Be the person you wish to become
2. Do the actions that type of person does
3. Have the outcomes that type of person has

Let me make this concrete.

If you want to be paid £10,000 for a project, you must first be the type of person who commands £10,000 fees.

How do you become that person? You act the way that person acts. You walk the way that person walks. You talk the way that person talks.

You present yourself professionally. You show up prepared. You communicate confidence. You provide exceptional value.

And none of these cost any money or extra time.

Then you do the actions that type of person does. You quote £10,000 without apology. You stand firm on your pricing. You turn away clients who aren't willing to invest properly.

And finally, you have the outcomes that type of person has. The income level you've decided upon. The clients who respect you. The business that fulfils you.

Be, Do, Have.

Not Have, Do, Be.

I Bargained With Life for a Penny

There's a poem by Jesse B. Rittenhouse that I share with every professional I work with. It's called "My Wage."

I bargained with Life for a penny,
And life would pay no more,
However I begged in the evening
When I counted my scanty store

For Life is a just employer,
He gives you what you ask,
But once you have set the wages,
Why, you must bear the task

I worked for a menial's hire,
Only to learn, dismayed,
That any wage I had asked of Life,
Life would have willingly paid.

Read that last line again.

"Any wage I had asked of Life, Life would have willingly paid."

This is the tragedy I see every single day.

Brilliant professionals, delivering extraordinary value, asking for pennies when they could be asking for pounds.

And Life (or the market, or clients) would have willingly paid.

But they never asked.

The Impostor Syndrome Trap

Right. Let's talk about something that affects almost every professional at some point.

Impostor Syndrome.

It's defined as the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.

And it's absolutely poison when it comes to pricing.

Here's what happens. You quote your fee. Let's say it's £5,000 for a project.

The client says, "That seems expensive."

And immediately, your inner voice starts screaming: "They're right! You're not worth £5,000! Who do you think you are? You're a fraud!"

So you drop your price. "Well, actually, I could do it for £3,500."

And you've just reinforced your impostor syndrome. You've just confirmed that you're not really worth what you originally quoted.

This cycle is deadly.

The only way to break it is to decide (and I mean truly decide, to cut yourself off from any other idea) that you are worth what you're charging.

And then stand firm. Even when it's uncomfortable. Especially when it's uncomfortable.

It's Not What Money Makes For Us, It's What It Makes Of Us

I need to address something important. Because I know many of you have some cognitive dissonance about charging high fees.

The newspapers are full of stories about "fat cats" and how the rich are terrible people. There's a climate of envy around money and success.

So let me be crystal clear about something.

When you're charging at the right level and earning high income, it's not about what the money makes for you. It's what it makes of you.

"It's not what the money makes for us, it's what it makes of us!"

When you're charging premium fees, you step up to the plate. You give your best. You prepare meticulously. You practise relentlessly. You perform brilliantly.

You become the best version of yourself you could possibly be, knowing that someone else is prepared (and willing) to pay you properly to share your knowledge, experience, expertise, and your unique take on everything you know.

As Earl Nightingale said: "Life is a just employer. He gives you what you ask."

And here's my take on it:

"The income we receive is a direct reflection of the outcome our clients receive."

If you're delivering extraordinary outcomes, you deserve to be paid extraordinarily.

Don't Work With Wrong-Fit Clients

Right. I'm going to say something that might sound harsh. But after 50 years in business, I've learned this lesson the hard way.

Don't work with wrong-fit clients.

What do I mean by that?

You know the ones. They're always unhappy, even when paying the right price. They complain about everything. Nothing you do is ever quite good enough.

They look to blame others rather than take responsibility themselves. They look to take credit even when it's not due to them. They blame the economy, the government, the weather, almost anything except themselves for their lack of success.

These are the wrong-fit clients.

And here's what I've learned: when dealing with the right clients, all the major problems become minor. When you're dealing with wrong-fit clients, all the minor problems become major.

I don't deal with these people anymore. And I fervently suggest you don't either.

And here's the beautiful part: premium pricing is one of the best filters for keeping wrong-fit clients away.

Because people who aren't serious don't invest seriously. People who are going to waste your time aren't willing to pay premium fees.

So by charging properly, you're not just increasing your income. You're protecting your time, your energy, and your sanity.

Your Identity-Level Pricing Action Plan

Right. Let's make this practical. Here's what you need to do, starting today.

Action One: Decide Who You Are

Write down the answer to these questions:

• Who are you?
• What are you worth?
• Who aren't you?

Be specific. If you're a £10,000-per-project consultant, write it down. Say it out loud. Make it real.

Action Two: Identify Your Identity Statements

Listen to yourself for a week. Every time you say "I am..." write down what follows.

Are you saying "I am expensive" or "I am cheap"?

Are you saying "I am worth it" or "I am lucky to get any clients"?

Your words reveal your identity. And your identity determines your actions.

Action Three: Set Your Proper Fee Rate

Not the fee you're comfortable with. The fee that reflects the value you deliver and the outcomes your clients receive.

Calculate it based on transformation, not time. Based on results, not hours.

Then stand firm on it. Even when it's scary.

Action Four: Require Skin in The Game

Stop offering cheap packages. Stop making it easy for people to not take you seriously.

Require real investment. Real commitment. Real skin in the game.

Your clients will thank you for it. Because they'll get better results.

Action Five: Fire The Wrong-Fit Clients

Look at your current client list. Are there any wrong-fit clients on it?

People who drain your energy? Who never take action? Who always complain?

Finish your commitments with them. Then never work with them again.

Life's too short. And your time is too valuable.

Transform Your Identity Around Money

If you're ready to completely transform your relationship with money, pricing, and your own worth, check out my book PAID! Reveals: The 10 Secrets for Being Richly Rewarded for the Value You Deliver and the Cascading Impact You Make in Our World.

Chapter Three of PAID! is entirely devoted to Skin in The Game. You'll discover exactly how to align your identity with premium pricing, how to overcome impostor syndrome, and how to require proper investment from your clients so they actually get results.

The book includes the complete Be-Do-Have framework, the Low Fee Mistake explanation, and specific strategies for positioning yourself at the premium end of the market where you belong.

You'll also receive powerful bonuses including access to the "PAID! explained!" webinar, The Client Gathering Document, and 355 proven strategies for business growth.

Get your copy of PAID! here and start charging fees that match the transformation you deliver.

Because you're not just selling services. You're creating life-changing outcomes. And that deserves proper investment from serious clients.