Date: 16th February 2025

Video & Transcript   

"The Counter-Intuitive Moment When Selling Actually Happens (And It's Not Where You Think)"

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The Most Important Idea in Persuasion

So, what is the secret of true persuasion? I know the answer to that question, and I have a number of thoughts for you ,which we're going to blend together today so that you'll be able to take this idea away and use it. And I guarantee you this is one of the most important ideas.

Perhaps I say one of the more important ideas that I could ever share with you.

Harry Overstreet's Foundational Principle

Harry Overstreet, an American thinker writer who was prolific in the mid nineteen hundreds said this. ”The secret of true persuasion is to induce the person to persuade themselves”. Let me say it again. The secret of true persuasion is to induce the person, the other person, to persuade themselves. And this just resonates, just gels, just is such a tight link in my mind to my thinking and my discoveries and insights on the art of ethical persuasion.

The Common Mistake We All Make

The thing is, with what Harry said, it then prompts a question to say, well, how on earth do we do that? Well, let me explain. I think the mistake that can be made, and I've made this mistake, is to leap in in a conversation with a potential client about what we can do and talk about the features and benefits and advantages. And all that's important, but not yet.

The Power of the Gathering Stage

Because I believe that the conversation flows in this way. There needs to be a powerful opening to engage the other person. And then the second stage is not the presenting. No, it's the gathering stage. It's the gathering because this is my expression which links into what Harry Overstreet was saying, which is: that the true art of persuasion is to allow people to persuade themselves by their answers to our well-crafted questions.

So again, the secret of this is that the selling takes place in the gathering stage as people sell themselves in their answers to our, your, well-crafted questions. And, you know, over the thirty years that I've been in this type of business, fifty years in business altogether, but the last thirty years, I've interviewed 174 different people, some amazing thinkers and successful people in all walks of life.

Three Supporting Insights from World-Class Thinkers

And three that come to mind...

Brian Tracy said this, people don't argue with their own data. It's the same idea. People don't argue with their own data. Professor Robert Cialdini, I interviewed him when he was in London, and he said the skill is to be a detective and create the climate in which persuasion takes place. Same idea again. And then quite a clever quote. This next one is Tony Alessandra. When I interviewed him, he said this to me, a comment that he makes regularly. Just five words incredibly powerful. Prescription before diagnosis is malpractice.

Now those three things and with what Harry Overstreet is saying, just linked together perfectly, don't they? Prescription before diagnosis is malpractice. Here's my expression again. Allow people to sell themselves. The gathering takes... the selling takes place in the gathering stage. As people sell themselves in their answers to our well-crafted questions.

How to Put This into Practice

So, having understood that, what do we actually do? Well, we sit down and we think about what is it that the other person, client, potential client needs to say in order for them to sell themselves?

Well, firstly, they need to answer such questions as they realise that they have a problem or it could be an opportunity, but often a problem. They realise that there is a solution to that problem. They then realise that we can be the provider of that solution. And then they realise that they trust us to provide that solution to a problem that they've now recognized.

Of course, we want to talk about the pain associated with the problem and the pleasure associated with the solution. And all of that is for conversation, much longer conversation for another day. But if we sit down and think about what do I need to ask, not what do I need to say, what do I need to ask for the person I'm talking to, to answer in such a way that they go, yes, I've got that problem. Yes. This is what it's costing me. Oh, there is a solution. Oh, you can provide the solution. Yes. I trust you to do that.

Bringing It All Together

Then we've matched to all those ideas. People don't argue with their own data. Brian Tracy. Create the climate in which ethical persuasion takes place. Professor Robert Cialdini. Prescription before diagnosis is malpractice from Tony Alessandra. The secret of true persuasion is to induce the person to persuade themselves, Harry Overstreet. In my version, the selling takes place in the gathering stage as people sell themselves in their answers to our well-crafted questions.

Your Next Steps

I urge you to take this away and use it. Spend a lot of time on it to get it right. Because when we do, boy, does it work so well.  

I wish you every success in all your adventures in life, and I hope there are many to be had.

Peter

Peter Thomson

‘The UK’s Most Prolific Business Development Author’  

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